18Feb16

Mind, give up your restlessness; hold the balance evenly before you. On one scale of the balance place all the objects of the world, and on the other God Himself, the Lord of Prosperity. As between these two, reflect wherein lies greater peace and greater good. From reasoning and experience, whatever appeals to you as the repository of bliss, take it with all your heart.     ~ Adi Shankara

 

Adi-Sankaracharya1


12.12.14

12Dec14

Allowing the current of life to flow, instead of grasping after a self as though pinning down a butterfly.


10Dec14

There is no such thing as a person; at least certainly nothing that can be captured within the body or the mind. But yet we habitually and chronically lazily think of “persons” — those shorthand versions of ourselves and others that spark emotions ranging from infatuation to bloodlust. These models that we clutch to and work off of – how much do they have to do with the living reality appearing before us?

And are appearances “real”, in any reliable and enduring sense? What is real beyond our direct knowing of our being?

The conceit that so many authorities put forth – that anyone really knows how to be human, the right way to be human, turns out to be cockamamie on the face of it. There is consciousness, experience, the energy of consciousness which is set unrolling of its own accord, unstoppable and wild. Aside from that, though, we know nothing of what we are, who we are, what this is, what life is. We don’t know how to run and tend to this human machine, the experience of which we are caught up in. We have no idea. We know the definitions that we encircle around experience with our minds. But no one really KNOWS. Directly.


24Sep14

through living and not-living, being-here and not being-here, which happen simultaneously,
the experience of knowing your presence in the world rushes into my heart, to nourish it as should be.
please, never hover in-between action and apologies,
my only wish is that you should be happy

through a lifetime of catastrophic errors, I have only managed to bring grief to those I failed at loving

but thanks to Grace, I now only know bliss, and the vast space of love.


07Aug14

cardamom gardens
late summer boughs
everything is ripening
reddening with love


29Jul14

May all beings be happy.

May ________, who is my friend, be happy.

May ________, who is my friend, enjoy limitless happiness and peace.

May all beings have love and happiness.

May all beings have bliss and peace in their lives

May I have love and happiness.

May I have bliss and peace in my life.

May all beings have happiness and good fortune constantly showering down on them

May all auspicious things constantly rain down on me.

May all the people I have envy issues around have great, unlimited happiness.

May all the people I have jealousy issues around have great, unlimited happiness.

May all the people I am afraid of have great, unlimited happiness.

May all the people I feel intimidated by have great, unlimited happiness.

May all the people I feel inferior to have great, unlimited happiness.

May all the people I feel superior to have great, unlimited happiness.

May all the people I could care less about in daily life have great, unlimited happiness.

Through your love may my mind be purified of hate, fear, envy, jealousy, resentment and all negative and unhelpful forms of thinking.

May all beings be purified of hate, fear, envy, jealousy, resentment, and all negative and unhelpful tendencies.


Thank goodness for my gross personal failings. The realization of having fucked up so many times over this life allows for relaxation into Being. The self-images are immolated in perfect sacrificial fire. Now one can be human and relax. Now one can be a perfect asshole and relax. In the truth of fucking-up there has been the stumbling onto a goldmine. Excused from would-be sainthood, pardoned from myths of perfection, there is freedom to be.

My life has consisted so often of hurting harming and disappointing others, but that is okay. Without expectations for “goodness” there is only freedom. Without confused projections the power of reality finally shines forth and there can be meetings on equal footing, without repressed or suppressed motives and desires. Vitality returns and reality pours forth.

Without freedom there is only a constant pain of subjugation to illusory self-images. Having invested in these self-concepts for far too long all real libido was wasted, knotted up, closed off, drained away in avoidance of the necessary messiness of the alchemical processes of life. How can there be love of life when pressed onto a footpath that has zero coherence or correspondence to reality?


7.13

13Jul14

We forget about how God’s love is all of the time transforming us. When our “problems” are solved, they will be solved through transformations of ourselves and others that we wouldn’t have been able to forsee. In this is liberation.


10Jul14

We all love each other. The heart is incapable of closing, its outpourings can only be temporarily blocked (and even then, they are at work under the surface so to speak.) The reason why we close off in hatred or anger or grudge-holding is precisely because our hearts are so open and in fact the fundamental  reality. When the truth of this radical and permanent openness would seem to be challenged by someone or a particular situation, then we often contract and fold into doubt and attempt the impossible —  to staunch the always-flow, the ceaseless transmission that constitutes our hearts’ open nature. If hate were the fundamental reality then we would have stones inside of us rather than hearts (nothing against stones, and to be sure they also shine with God’s love, so begging pardon for metaphoric license here) and our deepest desires would be to be hated and to be able to give hate.  Or to be indifferent and to be able to radiate “passionate” indifference.

 

Furthermore, when we love someone, it is never a one-sided affair. Love by nature is non-dual, and so when we are loving someone, there is not “me” loving “them”, but simply LOVE . (Love dissolves the illusory sense of a separate “me” and “you”.) The ever-present love that is always there, being acknowledged by our conscious minds. Just as God (aka Love) is always already the case, is omnipresent. However we place barriers from experiencing and knowing God due to our thoughts, our doubts, our fears, our hesitations, etc.

The reason for our heartsickness with others, the reason for our heartsickness with God, the reason for the pains of our loneliness and sense of homesickness is precisely because Love is our deepest nature, the actualness of Reality, and we know this on some level, and following so, on experiencing the sense of separation caused by dualistic error we are feeling the “wrongness” of the situation – something that we know ultimately to be true (though if not in our conscious minds) is appearing to us differently, and the resulting dissonance bothers us – at some level we sense that something is wrong with this picture. Where has heaven gone?

___________________________________________

 

on jealousy –
this speaks to why we must kill the mind. The mind will always attempt to interfere and to fascistly regulate, to gratuitously cause mischief, to stingily proportion and measure out – it is obsessed with accounting records, with balance sheets, with all dead ash in general – as opposed to the living waters. So we must ignore this mindstuff and instead attend to the everpresent quality of love. Right now, right here, love is. We are not separate from it (though we can try to portray ourselves as being so through our thoughts). Nor are the “others” separate.

This is the divine solvent which directly melts away all jealousy and possessiveness. No thinking necessary (or encouraged, in this case). Rather, simply acknowledgment of love’s presence.


That is the responsibility

divert from the mind’s tyranny and be free

why is the mind making you its slave, corralling you and endlessly creating reasons for you not to love?