Lightmind Extract 026
mark david, even in cases where the client has “seduced” the therapist, the therapist still carries the responsibility in a legal sense and loses their license if they are discovered.
it is not a defense to say – well he/she wanted it. they asked for it. they are an adult and have equal responsibility.
by definition the therapist is in the wrong because of the responsibility of holding space for that kind of vulnerability.
this is the whole point about the power imbalance.
it actually is like being a child when you surrender to a teacher/healer.
one actually is in a regressive relationship to the person in the power position.
that’s why we have such strict legal/professional boundaries around the relationship with a therapist.
as you know this extends not only to sexual relating, but it is against the code for therapists to get engaged in business dealings with the client too, as it is understood that the client is at a disadvantage psychologically and prone to manipulation.
far from disempowering anyone, this is a pragmatic understanding of the process of transference that is rooted in a deep respect for the unconscious.
it is normal to “fall in love” with your teachers and healers. that falling in love is all about the role they are in and the powerful idealization/projection that we put on them from our regressed psychic position. it is not a choice, it is not something we are responsible for, the teacher/healer has a responsibility to understand these complexities and not exploit them. the student/client is “in love” with something imagined, yet very powerful in terms of their healing/growth – not with the actual person!
benevolent responsible holding of the tension of these powerful feelings allows the psychic process to bear fruit. failing to do this is really like the father who takes his little daughter’s statement – daddy when i grow up i want to marry you – literally as an invitation to act out sexually with her.
we get a sick feeling hearing about ramesh or anyone else who does this, not for prudish, anti-sexual, moralistic reasons, but because we intuit that the women (in this case) have in some very real but subtle way been tricked and cheated out of something meaningful and into something very tacky. he has failed to contain his own needs in what is essentially a relationship that should be about being of service to the student.
it is a form of rape. psychologically instead of physically violent.
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