Lightmind Extract 046


Broken Yogi 5.2.07
Who can be trusted? IMO. no one. One must be a light unto oneself as the familiar phrase says. We have to use our own inteligence. We are the Guru. Listen to everyone but believe no one.

I disagree with these sentiments. There is a paranoid element to the exposure of false Gurus which is just plain unhealthy. One absolutely must trust, even unconditionally, not just in oneself as the Guru, but in whatever sources one is most powerfully drawn to. Yes, one will be disappointed often, but that is how we learn and grow. Children have to leave the nest and live outside the protection of mom and dad. They have to make mistakes, suffer, love and lose. They have to endure the falseness of the world. There’s no other way we can ever find the truth.

I enjoy Guruphiliac, but there’s something so parental about the whole notion of guarding people from spiritual frauds. It’s a version of the very thing it criticizes – a protective superego trying to insert itself in the way of an exploitive superego. The problem is, the ego never develops properly if it is constantly being “protected” by the superego.

The whole of spiritual life is about unconditional trust and surrender. Yes, we need to be discriminating to a degree about the frauds and exploitive cults that are counterfeiting the real thing. But if we focus too much on that, it kills the golden goose anyway, so what’s the point? If the result of all this cult-busting is a person who can no longer trust anyone but himself, this is spiritually disastrous. What makes us think we are any more trustworthy that any of these Gurus? The fact is, the atmosphere of distrust ends up polluting everything. I would actually suggest that its better to be trusting, and end up exploited, than to be untrusting, unexploited, but unable to surrender as a result.

My own experience of Adidam is a case in point. The fact that Adidam has a ton of counterfeit crap going on doesn’t mean that I didn’t profit greatly from surrendering to Da during my time there. The key, in the end, is not finding the perfect Guru one can trust, or only trusting oneself, but learning to completely trust the whole of life, the good and the bad, the genuine and the false, unconditionally, irrevocably, and without discrimination. Discrimination is useful in the practical affairs of life, but in what really counts, we have to let even that go. We have to trust not only ourselves, but everything as our Self. This includes false Gurus, true Gurus, friends and foes, the very process of consciousness both within and without.

This means at times trusting someone who turns out not to have deserved it, and losing something as a result. Well, shit, we have to accept this price if we want to live. One can’t protect oneself from this without cutting off life itself, and then what would be gained?

Now, certainly one learns from this. It’s not as if I’m going to repeat the mistake of trusting Adidam again. But I will trust other sources and Gurus and people I’m drawn to, and both profit from that trust as well as learn lessons from my own mistakes.

Trying to tell the difference between counterfeits and the genuine article is something no one can do perfectly before the fact, and after the fact it’s really too late. Our karma is always drawing us into bullshit that we only realize was bullshit after the fact. Even if it’s all bullshit, we never seem to realize that until its too late. At the time, we think it’s the bomb. I did when I was in Adidam, as did most of us. Now we are all into something else, and we think this is the bomb. Well, can we really trust ourselves, given our record?

Of course we can! And of course we must. In the end, it’s the trust, the surrender, the love that matters, not what we said or did or which Guru we followed. If we learned to surrender unconditionally, to love life, to be happy regardless of how much we screwed our lives up, that’s a spiritual victory. We can follow the best Guru in the world, but if we don’t learn how to love and trust unconditionally, we haven’t profited from that relationship. We have just installed another parental control over our spiritual lives.

Of course, this means it all boils down to us surrendering, letting go, not holding on, not keeping icons of “truth” in our minds, and trusting all regardless of how absurd and unsound that might seem. We are not long for this world anyway. It crumbles like dust in our fingers even when we try to hold onto it. Our fingers crumble like dust too. If we cannot trust the dust we are made of, what hope is there?

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