7.13

13Jul14

We forget about how God’s love is all of the time transforming us. When our “problems” are solved, they will be solved through transformations of ourselves and others that we wouldn’t have been able to forsee. In this is liberation.


10Jul14

We all love each other. The heart is incapable of closing, its outpourings can only be temporarily blocked (and even then, they are at work under the surface so to speak.) The reason why we close off in hatred or anger or grudge-holding is precisely because our hearts are so open and in fact the fundamental  reality. When the truth of this radical and permanent openness would seem to be challenged by someone or a particular situation, then we often contract and fold into doubt and attempt the impossible —  to staunch the always-flow, the ceaseless transmission that constitutes our hearts’ open nature. If hate were the fundamental reality then we would have stones inside of us rather than hearts (nothing against stones, and to be sure they also shine with God’s love, so begging pardon for metaphoric license here) and our deepest desires would be to be hated and to be able to give hate.  Or to be indifferent and to be able to radiate “passionate” indifference.

 

Furthermore, when we love someone, it is never a one-sided affair. Love by nature is non-dual, and so when we are loving someone, there is not “me” loving “them”, but simply LOVE . (Love dissolves the illusory sense of a separate “me” and “you”.) The ever-present love that is always there, being acknowledged by our conscious minds. Just as God (aka Love) is always already the case, is omnipresent. However we place barriers from experiencing and knowing God due to our thoughts, our doubts, our fears, our hesitations, etc.

The reason for our heartsickness with others, the reason for our heartsickness with God, the reason for the pains of our loneliness and sense of homesickness is precisely because Love is our deepest nature, the actualness of Reality, and we know this on some level, and following so, on experiencing the sense of separation caused by dualistic error we are feeling the “wrongness” of the situation – something that we know ultimately to be true (though if not in our conscious minds) is appearing to us differently, and the resulting dissonance bothers us – at some level we sense that something is wrong with this picture. Where has heaven gone?

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on jealousy –
this speaks to why we must kill the mind. The mind will always attempt to interfere and to fascistly regulate, to gratuitously cause mischief, to stingily proportion and measure out – it is obsessed with accounting records, with balance sheets, with all dead ash in general – as opposed to the living waters. So we must ignore this mindstuff and instead attend to the everpresent quality of love. Right now, right here, love is. We are not separate from it (though we can try to portray ourselves as being so through our thoughts). Nor are the “others” separate.

This is the divine solvent which directly melts away all jealousy and possessiveness. No thinking necessary (or encouraged, in this case). Rather, simply acknowledgment of love’s presence.


That is the responsibility

divert from the mind’s tyranny and be free

why is the mind making you its slave, corralling you and endlessly creating reasons for you not to love?


09Jul14

There are no popsicles, there are no shoes there is no dew sitting around patiently on clover, there are no stones, there is no garbage there is no hesitation there is no waste. at last there is a dream world composed entirely by deliberation. There is no moss loitering there are no befuddled skeptics there are no nonplussed souls to speak of there are no spreadsheets there is no desire, at last there is a dream world composed by design. There is no hatred there is no heat there is no reverence there is no light there is not space. At last there is a


15Jun14

the separation and the repetition of samsara are killing me
it drums on and on
let it kill “me”, let it kill the mind
because this claustrophobia is becoming more unbearable than it was before
the separation and the repetition of illusion are killing me
they just drum on and on
let reality kill me, let reality liberate the mind
because it is inhumane to keep blinking and breathing under these conditions
let the sky and the clouds watch me
as I make my way back to somewhere to reinstate a parched soul
who’s watching who?
the clouds dissolve and trace back into the vivid blue


15Jun14

maybe let mental illness wash over me
the pains of pressure and isolation
and the habits of self-loathing
just add more resolve
to a place that I cannot fathom escaping from
spring has betrayed me
I only want autumn to come and wash away all remnants of hope
leaving me as bare as winter boughs
the apparent waste of creation stuns me
for what use vivid red or thick sweat or the gross of tears?
it’s simply amassing a mockery of the spirit and a destruction of any sense of humor
I never should have binged on “reality”
some of us are too weak-kneed for unflagging defeat


The rattling of the train with or without brakes
As I live out the raw stuff of my life, the filling in the dosa
My life is completely without brakes, rushing headlong towards death
Great bliss overwhelms me as I think of my former life. Another city another place another time a different year, a wholly other parade of the seasons
What seemed so frustrating then and in moments since is now colored happily, not with nostalgia, but with detachment, with a realization that it like every other moment is equally passing before the sovereign and absolute Self
And I can’t help but wonder if you loved me for merely diving in – Siva/Shakti
All of life is only the poetry of the incarnation
Does the real take its guise in illusion, or vice-versa?
It’s late, and I feel that I’ve lost count at this point
All of life turns out to be about me
Not egomaniacally, but because the witness of the transparent Self.
Waiting through ages of the whispered promise and romance
To find out who I am
Liberation … be careful what you wish for!